Monday, March 24, 2008

I'm Really an Adult Now

Not that this thought escapes me...too often anyhow. >:0)

Easter was full of all of the things that make it my favorite holiday. Good worship for a Mighty good reason. Prayer time with all my family (mom, step dad, siblings, etc. included). Yummy food. Watching my babes hunt for eggs filled with candy that they didn't need. >:0) This year was Ella's first year to hunt for eggs. My baby Ella is her own little person. She doesn't care to have bows in her hair. She doesn't care to have socks and shoes on her feet. Naturally, I made sure to buy her shoes and lacy socks to match her dress, and a cute hair bow as well. My family convinced me to let her be, and as much as it drove me bonkers to see her hair in her face while she hunted for her eggs, I let her be. Ugh. Even typing that out was difficult. I think I caught my mom taking her hair down, at one point just to make Ella happy. ha,ha. Thanks mom. What did the shirt say again? "Meme's the name. Spoiling's the game." Obviously, I can't win at moms house.

As you probably gathered, we celebrated Easter at my mom's house. We had a really good time. It's not often that we are able to visit my mom, but when we do, I can't help but to become reminiscent upon entering the inside of those four walls that, at one time, held my teenage sanctuary. My old room. The room where I could close my door, and pick a book up off the shelf and read until I fell asleep each night. The kind of sleep that wasn't interrupted by the snores of my husband, or a baby's cry. The room where I turned my music up loud, and wrote in my journal just because I had time to do selfish things like that. Today, that room is an office, and I am an adult. I love that room for holding so much more than office supplies and a new coat of paint. I love it for keeping all of my teenage memories held within those four walls.

My step mom was always a huge part of our life, and especially our "holiday life", so Easter would not have been complete without making that little trip to the cemetery. I had a nice conversation with God on the way over. I miss her a great deal. I really do. I can't lie and say that the visits to the cemetery are easy ones for me, because they're just not. Yes, I am a Christian and I am extremely thankful to know that she is in Heaven. If I had no knowledge of that fact, I would be visiting her grave with deep depression at the thought of her finality being left there in the ground below me. But, instead, I will forever relish in the fact that she is home. She will never be sick again. She will never know heartache again. She will never die, and once I leave my Earthly existence I will see her again. Still, no matter how strong my faith is, I mourn my loss a great deal. As we left the cemetery, I had a flashback of driving away from that very spot the day she was laid to rest. September 18, 2007. My wedding anniversary. My sister said, "We really are adults now, aren't we?" When I heard those words, they didn't sink in well. I mean, this is my older sister. The one whom I've always looked up to, and have learned just about everything that I needed to know about being a good mother and a level headed adult from. I didn't understand what she meant by that. It didn't take me long to understand though. Children are so resilient. They love, but they are able to move on quickly. They can't be burdened with grief. We lost family members when we were younger. This was the first death, however, to affect us so deeply. Yes, we really are adults now.

With all that being "said", I love being an adult. I don't mind my husband snoring....anymore. >;0) I love knowing that I am responsible for more than just myself. I love knowing that I am helping three little people to thrive in this world. I am an adult. As the miles separated me from my moms house and my step mother's grave, and we were closer to our own home, those memories had faded and I looked forward to walking up the steps of my front porch only to be enveloped in my adulthood.

Just a few of my favorite pictures from Easter.

Relishing in His goodness...


Tiffany said...

It's so good to have sisters.

This was such a good post, Christy. I know so much of what you mean...there's comfort in knowing we aren't alone in this adult journey. The people we love are coming with us.

I am glad you got to spend some moments with your family.

Love you an thinking about you always.

Carol said...

There are days when I look around and think who is in charge here? And then I realize it's me, so I must be an adult. I loved this post. Thanks for visiting tonight. I'm so glad you found me. I see you are from GA. I wonder if we are close. I'm in Buford. Take care and come back again! :)