Sunday, September 20, 2009

I'm Livin

Last week was trying. I nearly lost my marbles on several occasions. Our schedules are getting a wee bit chaotic. Darrell is working over time (total blessing, mind you, but I'm feeling like a single mom running around like a crazy chicken). Today, I just feel spent. Absolutely spent. How many times does a girl really have to clean the kitchen, fold a load of laundry, drive like there's no tomorrow, sweep, mop, dust, change linens, homework/projects, referee sibling arguments, and be everywhere I am expected to be when I am already booked up as it is? Aggggggghhhhhhhh!

Okay. That felt better.

With all my griping out of the way, onto sweeter things. While I was getting Ella ready for bed, Darrell was already asleep. He had a really bad headache before going to bed, so I told her that we had to be extra quiet so we didn't wake daddy. She put her finger to her mouth with a "Shhh!" and climbed under the sheets and snuggled up to her daddy. She put her little arm around his neck and kissed his chin, and rubbed his head. I couldn't help but remember the conversations he and I had prior to getting pregnant with her. While we both have children from other marriages, she was the first child the Lord gave us together. We prayed so very hard for her, too. All my gripes melted away as I watched our two year old princess give love to her daddy. The very thing he talked about wanting before the Lord even placed her inside of my tummy. He woke up, returned the kisses, and rubbed her tiny back until they both fell asleep. I can't help but wonder if he enjoyed that moment just as much as I enjoyed watching it.

Why do I complain when there are far more beautiful things in this life that I could be relishing in? Okay, so yeah. It completely stinks cleaning things that are messy again within a matter of minutes of everyone coming back home again. God blessed me with a home to clean and the people who make the messes. Homework and projects are a pain. But, God gave me intelligent, healthy children who are able to attend school. So, my husband tends to drive me a little bonkers at times. God gave him to me. He is my heart. My safety net. My joy. Driving Big Blue (my minivan) takes up a large portion of my week. God blessed me with a vehicle, and one large enough to fit my family even though I swore I'd never be a minivan driving mama.

Lord, I'm sorry to complain so much. Your blessings FAR outweigh anything that I can come up with to complain about. I don't deserve all that you have given me, but I am working on making up for that. I am so very thankful to have you living inside of my heart. I can't imagine missing out on all of the beautiful things that you have presented to me. With all of my heart and soul, thank You, precious Father for giving me life, love, joy, and laughter. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Relishing in His goodness...

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