Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bliss

I will give you peace and quietness.
I Chronicles 16:11

No matter the amount of times I've told myself, in the past eight weeks, that I accept the Lord's will no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy I could not fight the anxiety that crept up on me today as I made the long drive to see my specialist. I knew that today was the big day. I was going to see my baby for the first time in nearly seven weeks. For someone who has suffered multiple losses, seven weeks is an awful long time to wait. I couldn't fight back the tears as I got closer and closer to the office. I was fearful of receiving bad news, yet so ashamed of feeling that way. I heard my mother's voice telling me to go to the Lord. Her voice was soon replaced by my Father's loving promises and I was comforted as I made my way to the second floor suite, and eventually took my place on the sonographer's table. While she prepped my tummy with the warm gel, I asked my Father for peace. I didn't realize I had done so aloud, nor did I realize that I was crying, yet again. The sonographer was kind, and assuring. She placed the wand on my tummy and immediately detected life in a precious heartbeat that filled the room with noise, as well as my own heart with the peace I had just asked my Father for. My sweet baby has, obviously, grown quite a bit since I last saw him/her. He/She tossed and turned, sucked on his/her fingers, kicked, punched. It was GLORIOUS! My heart and soul are elated.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

This is our baby. Our little sweet pea!




As seen in the last picture, the baby is measuring a little bigger than my original estimated due date of October 20. Not a huge difference, but this new estimation put me in my second trimester three days ago!!! Sweet bliss!

Darrell stayed home with Ella today, so he missed the ultrasound. I text'd him a couple of the pictures while I waited for the specialist to come in. I immediately called him at home so that I could hear his reaction. It was priceless! I could hear the smile on his face and tears that were produced as he saw his baby for the first time. Relief was evident. I knew then, that he had been experiencing the same fear that I had. He did a much better job at hiding it...bless him. :0)

He was thrilled to show the pictures off to Ella. He pointed out the baby's toes, head, nose, and spine. For the first time, she was excited about the prospect of becoming a big sister!

While I believe that I would have been thrilled about this baby, had I never experienced a loss, I can't praise God enough for the knowledge and perspective He's given me to appreciate this (as well as my other children) so much more than I probably ever would have. Life is absolutely precious.

Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!
I Peter 1:6

Relishing in His goodness...