Relishing in His Goodness: Goodbye 2022

This time, last year, I was going into the new year in a dizzying fog of grief. A new widow, desperate not to leave her husband behind in 2021. There's no fog, this year. My mind is clear and I'm not so sure that makes things better. While my rationality tells me that his existence will never go farther than September 19, 2021, my heart hurts to be drifting farther away from the last day that I heard his voice. It's not the emotion that I'd have liked to emote on this final day of 2022, but it's the raw truth. This is the irrational side of grief, I suppose. I can only pray that this time, next year, will see that part of my heart and mind healed. Despite our circumstances, I think that we had a pretty good year together. Memorable moments out the wazoo. It just came and went far too quickly!

Each year, I ask the kids to tell me 1) their highlights of the year and 2) what they hope the new year will bring to them.

Here are their answers:

Lindsey-I made a lot of new friends, this year. I continued my healing journey with loads of support. I got to see 5SOS for the fifth time, with Tori!!! I got to see my bestie, Taurean, and visited the Disney parks with him twice in 2022. I got to be a member of the bridal party in my best friend, Sarah's, wedding. I advanced my crafting skills.

2) My hopes for 2023 are to continue working on my mental health, create a more positive mindset, and healthier coping mechanisms. All I want is to create lots of art and "eat lots of bread and get all fat and sassy."

Gabriel-

1) Karmaleita becoming my girlfriend, seeing Ben Platt and Alexander 23 in concert, getting to spend time with family and healing together, being able to spend some time with Jacob and doing things like building his bed together and our dressers together, spending Thanksgiving and putting up the Christmas tree with everyone I love, all the late night weekends me, Jacob, and Triston stayed up late playing games, going to Callaway Gardens with the whole family, going to the fair with the kids, and all the marvel movies and shows that I got to watch.

2) I look forward to being able to spend more time with my family, watching the not so little babies (Ella and Jacob) grow up too fast, all the marvel movies that come out this year that I'm super excited to see, and...I hope I can hold a raccoon this year.

Aaron-

1) My favorite highlights were definitely all the concerts that I went to. Including (but not limited to) Dua Lipa, Olivia Rodrigo, and Lizzo. I enjoyed all of the extra time spent with my friends whether it be eating together or just hanging out and studying. Christmas was really fun and I loved watching Glass Onion on Christmas Eve with you.

2) I hope next year I get an internship and start figuring out what I want to do in the future in more detail since college is nearly over!

Ella-

1) My favorite things about 2022 were the vacations we took to Chattanooga and Disney! I loved the trip that I went on with Ryley and Ms. Elizabeth to Orlando, too, where I got to also see Ms. Tiffany and Cadence again. I finally got to go to Animal Kingdom!!! That was a dream come true! AND I got to try Dole Whip for the first time! I did a happy dance with that! Spending the holidays with our family...and Karma. Cuddles with our pets. Going to the movies and fair. Seeing Christmas lights at Callaway for MeMe's birthday. Riding the trolley was so much fun and the pretzel and hot chocolate were amazing! The animal sanctuary in Hogansville really made me happy. When can we go back? Game nights at home with everyone. Exploring the woods. Iced Chai Lattes from Dunkin. It made me really happy to have the whole family celebrate my birthday at Jim n Nicks. The Universal Yum box from France was AMAZING! Getting to do school from home again this year...and watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies with mama. Good year.

2) I hope that nobody catches covid in 2023. I want it to be over. More vacations, please! And....for my new fish to survive the whole year long...maybe new pets? Baby goats please? I hope I get another chance to go back to Animal Kingdom.

Jacob-

1) When me, you, and Ella went to Chattanooga. The aquarium and zoo were really cool there. Playing video games with my big brother and friends. Learning how to play two musical instruments, the recorder and ukulele. Going to the fair. It was fun riding with Ella on the ferris wheel. Getting to ride The Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney. Hiking through the woods and carving the pup's names on our family tree. Going to the movies to see the Multiverse of Madness (Dr. Strange) movie. Watching Adventure Time and Steven Universe with my sister. Playing basketball with mom and Ella. Building my Harry Potter and Star Wars lego sets.

2) I hope I get to spend a lot more time with family and friends. I hope nobody gets sick. I hope I get a lot better at learning to play instruments. I hope Gabriel shares his Nintendo Switch with me. ha,ha.

Me-

1) I loved every second of getting to laugh with the ones I love, every exploration, every board/card game played, and family dinners around the table. So much good music fed my soul. I loved watching each of my children blow out the birthday candles on their cakes, this year, and having them all home for Christmas. I've been blessed to get to meet other widows/widowers who understand what my life has been like the past 15 months. I've loved listening to Gabriel play the music that he's written. My boy is so talented. I've loved taking classes with my Lindsey girl and spending rare one-on-one time with her. I've loved teaching Ella and Jacob how to cook...they've become really good at it! Getting to spend time with my mama and sisters is always a treat. Getting to talk to Cheyenne and the babies always makes me smile. I've loved giving my sweet Aaron a big ole mama bear hug when he comes home from college. Loving and being loved in return. I'm so incredibly blessed.

2) I pray that 2023 brings my babies and loved ones so much happiness. I hope for new experiences that excite all of my senses! I hope that my parents are healed from the things that physically ail them. I hope for more adventures, laughter, music, Mexican food, cuddles & kisses, good books read, family prayers and game nights. I hope that snail mail becomes a trend again, like the 90's fashion that's coming back in style. One or two days of snow, that doesn't kill our power, would be a pleasant lil surprise. More traveling would be fun...a trip or two to the UK possibly?!?! A third season of Firefly Lane would be an awesome surprise, though highly unlikely. I'd appreciate a gazillion tender mercies and God time with my family.