The September sky has generously offered tapestries aglow with hues of blazing oranges, golds, peaches, purples and reds. Because our vast sky is as ever-changing as the weather, at times, we've been presented with a dappling of fat fluffy clouds floating through a sea of cerulean. No matter the scene, it's ever-present beauty is never lost on me and I'm quick to snap a photo... or seventeen. While photos can't begin to do these scenes justice, these are some of my favorites taken in the last week or so.
Luke had the idea for us to take the kids bowling and invite Karma and her little brother, Max, since he and Jacob have become such fast friends. That proved to be a fun night out! So much laughing and silliness.
During a moment when Luke was up to bowl, my littlest boy turned to me and whispered in my ear, "I'm so thankful for you and Luke, Mama. Thank you for bringing us out tonight." He gave his mama a kiss before turning back to observe the game. I was left in silent reverie over his precious gratitude. Thank you, God, for moments like that.
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"Any praise reports or prayer requests?"
The spirit whispered in my ear to give my praise report, but I sat stubbornly with my heels rooted firmly into the ground. My mouth held tightly shut as He told me again to give my praise report. I sat, silently with palms sweating anxiousness, while I listened as several people gave their praise reports. God spoke lovingly into one ear, as the devil yelled lies at me into the other. My precious Lord told me that my praise report wasn't for them, but for Him. I pleaded with Him to forgive my weakness as I sat listlessly amongst the handful of strangers. "I can't...I'm sorry, Father. You know how horribly my tongue gets tied when I try to speak aloud. I don't know any of these people...I don't want them to think that I'm after attention..." I gave Him excuse after excuse and allowed the devil to manipulate me into quiet submission. For that, I am ashamed.
The fact of the matter is that just being there, on our first Wednesday night back in a church, was HUGE and worthy of praise to our Father. We have DESPERATELY needed that! Before covid, my family was known for the mom who drove the mini-van full of her own children, and ones who weren't her own, to a gazillion weekly activities. I was the drama and chorus mom, the baseball mom, the tennis and golf mom, Jam-x mom, room mother, marching band mom, the volunteer-for-everything mom, color guard mom, gymnastics and cheer mom...the list goes on and on. You name it and my babies probably did it. We were also active in church for many years. Everything stopped when covid began. I know that my covid story isn't anything special. Covid wreaked havoc on the world as a whole. But, we all have our own story. This is mine. I watched my babies go from confident social butterflies to anxiety-ridden hermits after losing their father to covid and nearly losing their mother to it, as well. It took us a loooooong time, after I got out of the hospital in 2021, to feel comfortable enough to get out and live again. If it weren't for my two youngest children and the grace of God I wouldn't be living, without fear from the trauma, near as well as I am now, in fact. Jacob was so desperate for life again. He begged us to find a church. And I think we have. I hope we have. But, my boy has no idea that God was working through his young precious heart, to save his mama from her traumatic angst.
When Jacob was born, he came a month early and without the ability to breathe on his own. Because I had complications, I was not allowed to leave my hospital room for several days after he was born, and I had yet to meet him. He was mere hours away from being prepped for a life-flight to a children's hospital, in Atlanta, when they finally allowed me to see my baby for the first time. He was three days old when they wheeled me down to see him. He was the largest baby in the NICU but somehow the sickest. Early that morning, a Godly woman called my sister with news of what she interpreted as a prophetic dream. "Tell Christy that he's going to be okay! God told me that Jacob is going to grow to be a Godly man and do good work for Him." Upon seeing my baby for the first time, I instantly held my hands above his small body and began to pray. Within twenty minutes the NICU pediatrician stood absolutely astonished in front of my baby's bed, looking at the machines that spoke of his three day old life. All of his vitals/numbers came soaring up and the request for a helicopter was canceled. Jacob left the hospital ten days later and, nearly twelve years later, has proven to be one of the most thoughtful, loving, and empathetic children I've ever known. If he hadn't pushed so hard for it, we probably wouldn't have been sitting in three different areas of that church, last night, being fed the Word.
That is my praise report. If I could figure out how to insert one ginormous heart emoji HERE, I would indeed. I only wish I had the nerve to share it aloud in that sanctuary, last night. The Bible study lesson was about how Mary, Martha's sister, broke her alabaster box and poured expensive oil onto the head of Jesus. The perfume was estimated to cost one year worth of wages. She was young and poor but she sacrificed the most valuable thing she had for our Savior....I aspire to be more like Mary. Forever a work in progress. Someday I'll be able to share a praise report out loud. Today, my words typed quietly here, are all His and the best I'm able to do.
I need to emphatically express sincere gratitude to two individuals, whom we've come to know through church. There is a precious young lady, by the name of Hannah (I mentioned her in another post....she's the genius cake baker/decorator!) who has taken Ella in under her wing. Hannah has made certain to be an advocate/voice for my girl, with Selective Mutism, while in classes at church. She's also made sure to keep Ella in the loop of all of the youth activities. She texts her several times a week and Ella is loving getting to know her through that form of communication. I'm seeing my girl blossom week after week! Hannah always makes sure to save a seat for Ella, right beside her, and has made Ella feel so welcomed and comfortable in this new place for us. I appreciate her service to God, through all that she does for my girl. Sweet Hannah, I can't tell you just how much you've meant to Ella and I, these last couple of months! Thank you so much!
I also want to thank one of the youth leaders, Ms. Misti, as she has made Ella feel so very welcomed and comfortable at the church and with the youth group, as well. Thank you for feeding my girl supper, last night, as well as for gracing our lives with the sweet sound of your voice while in the choir! One of the biggest reasons I worried about finding a new church was due to how debilitating her Selective Mutism is. Thank you for not treating her any different! People like you are what make Ella's world so much easier. She talked ALL THE WAY home, from church, about how awesome the youth group was, last night! So many thanks to you, Paige, and Johnathan for all that you do for those teens! Ella tells me often just how much she enjoys being around you! That speaks volumes of your character, to me.
I like to leave surprise notes for my kids all over the place. I wrote this one in Jacob's notebook, last night, after church. He'd gone to bed and thoughts of my unspoken praise report were still swimming through my head and I felt the incessant need to tell him how precious he is. He makes me so proud.
