Yesterday and a Lifetime Ago

 He often spoke, with such hopefulness, of the day we'd celebrate our twentieth anniversary. Therefore, on what would have been our twentieth wedding anniversary, I want to honor my late husband in this post. This is for you, JohnnyCakes. 

    

At the front and center of this twenty year old photo are two young and very broken people who were clinging to one another in sanguine effort to find some semblance of indefectibility and amelioration. In the years that were to follow, we would discover that marriage could not pose as a patch for our past traumas and would be difficult to maintain...and, at times, extremely difficult. 

  However...

    When it was good, it was exceptional. I'm here to post about those times for him. 

    Darrell was an extremely hands-on husband and father. He cooked countless meals and helped me to clean often, on his days off. He coached little league. He attended nearly every event that our children participated in. He attended many pediatrician appointments, along with me, and went to most of my doctor's appointments during my pregnancies. He went grocery shopping when I was unable to. He enthusiastically planned/helped to plan many hiking trips, day trip excursions, picnics in the park, library/zoo/aquarium visits, and family nights out at the bowling alley or movie theater. He worked hard and as much as he possibly could so that I could stay home and raise our children. Something that I will forever be indebted to him for, as having that ability has been such an honor to me. He thoroughly enjoyed giving our babies great big Christmases and playing Santa. One particular Christmas, he put together a trampoline for extremely eager children as Georgia saw a rare snowstorm. He didn't let the cold keep him from accomplishing that task and would soon join our children in a snowy jump before coming in to thaw out. Darrell could often be seen holding a baby, until time would cause a graduation that consisted of him protectively holding their hands in public places when they got too big to carry. He never turned down an opportunity to read to them, when his kids asked him to, nor would he turn down a good cuddle by any of us, when desired. He relentlessly called the hospital I was in, from his own hospital bed several cities away from me, to ask the nurses how I was doing. "Your husband has called at least ten times to check on you, today!", the nurses would exclaim. I did not have the lung capacity to speak so I have no idea how he managed to make those calls, being as sick as he was, aside from sheer determination to be my protective husband. 

    He loved us fiercely and to the best of his ability. I will forever be grateful for his best. He was immensely proud of being a husband and father. 

    We had a heap of good memory making moments during our seventeen years of marriage and eighteen plus years together. I'm deeply appreciative of every single one of them. 

Darrell,

    My heart is full of gratitude at the thought of the copious amount of ordinary moments that we spent making extraordinary memories together and with our babies. Thank you for being such an intricate part of my life's journey. I never imagined that, on what should have been our twentieth wedding anniversary, I'd be in love with another and you'd be gone. God's plans for us are far different than we could ever begin to plan or imagine for ourselves, but they're never wrong. I have no doubt that you are blissfully happy in your forever home where I am certain we'll see one another again. I am blessed to have knowledge of that fact and to be loved so well in your absence. And Luke does. He blesses my soul with an overflowing amount of love. I have assurance that you are happy for the love he and his family have for the kids and I. They don't replace what we made together but they're, most definitely, an addition to the tapestry. 

   Every bit of those eighteen plus years, JohnnyCakes; I have no regrets. Even through the extremely tough days, I'd do it all over again to have what we created together. Thank you for loving us. I hope we made you feel loved in return. 

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await our Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body. -Philippians 3: 20 & 21 

Relishing in HIS goodness...

Christy

IStndAmzd79@gmail.com